I've been engaged in sport for most of my life, 16 years to be precise. Growing up, I'd always run off to a field near home to play football with the other boys, while most of the girls in the neighborhood played with dolls, helped with chores at home, and had make-shift families with babies made of cloth. The ratio of men to women in the sports fields was about 9:1, signifying that my interests weren't considered normal for a girl. Growing up, I never felt any less than the boys I hung around, as I knew that I could do whatever they could, even better in some cases. Today, when I find myself in a new place, I always seek out a soccer pitch or basketball court because I still love to play. It’s not that I expect to find one with girls/women, and my expectation is always satisfied with the number of men higher than the women, if not even nonexistent. So, I have played with this significant gender, apart from league/team practice or games. But over the years, I have made up code names to describe the type of men I've come across during the entirety of my sports career.
1. The Doubters. You'll find these people either by the sides of the pitch or court, watching others play or engaged in the game itself. They are the type always to doubt your abilities because you are female, challenge you to a 1-on-1 match to test your skills, and even when it's clear that you're good enough to play with the big boys, they still keep their eyes on you waiting for you to mess up so that they can bring it up and start to rant about why girls shouldn't play with boys. Before the pandemic (COVID-19), a friend had left the city, and I needed a basketball to work out at the nearby court. He sent me the number of someones I could get a ball from. On learning that I was a girl, he suddenly became interested in knowing who I was and whether I was good at playing. A girl couldn't possibly be interested in sport, and he wanted to see it for himself. We never did end up having the 1-on-1 that he proposed. 2. The Misogynist. They believe that your skill will never match theirs because you're a girl, so they are unwilling to play with you. They are also the type to react badly if you score a point for your team, defend them with the right amount of aggression, or do something that makes it seem like you're better than them. Consequently, they are quickly resulting from pointing out every mistake you make and mocking you if you happen to be on the losing team because apparently, it's your fault. I once faced an opponent who, hoping to offend me, pointed out that I had the most assists amongst my teammates, but I hadn't scored a single point, saying that it was probably because I am female. What most men can't seem to understand is that women's sport is as competitive as men's sport, the only difference being the physical attributes as a result of our biology. For example, Taurasi and LeBron can be considered at the same level; they both have over 8679 points under their belts and over 1000 assists, but Taurasi barely dunks while LeBron is an expert at that. Why? Because of the difference in their bodies? If Taurasi were a man, she could give him a run for his money. The same could be said about Messi and Megan Rapinoe. 3. The Opportunists. To them, every new girl in the area is 'prey.' They waste no time in starting to flirt with you, but if you turn them down, you are bound to face their wrath on the court, as they tend to become a little extra rough to punish you for refusing their advances. They expect you to worship them because they are of the 'more superior gender.' It's inevitable finding men of this sort at every court or pitch I go to. A while back, a friend of mine introduced me to a court that I eventually started to work out at. I got hit on by an older man named John(not his real name), who, according to his workmates, had a reputation for taking advantage of the very girls he was charged to protect at a school he guarded. When I turned him down, his behavior towards me became aggressive. He even made it a point to be extra rough while defending me, openly taunting me, saying I was too heavy to play. In response, I'd calmly ask him what exercises he recommended to make me less heavy. 4. The Gropers. These are the more overtly sleazy ones who, during games, take every opportunity to touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Their excuse for this disgusting behavior, which includes brushing up against you unnecessarily, holding you, or even grinding on/against you, is that you should suck it up because every sport is a contact one(even while playing non-contact games). You can tolerate this for only so long before you either confront them or cut your losses and stop playing. 5. The “Leaders.” This is the particular class of people who misuse their positions of authority. Insteadin of creating a safe and nurturing environment for girls in sports who already face enough difficulties, they seek their selfish desires. They seem to think that their service is a quid quo pro one and that in exchange for training girls and letting them be on their team and the opportunities that come with that, they are entitled to their bodies. Stories of coaches sexually assaulting their charges are commonplace all over the world. They place girls under challenging positions where they have to choose between their virtue or being on the team, and I'm no stranger to such adversity. A while back in my home area, an all-female football team needed to be formed to represent an institution, and I was invited to be a part of it. It was an excellent opportunity to showcase my skill as a striking midfield. Training started immediately, but on my first day, I was propositioned by the coach, who wanted to send me nude pictures and kept on asking when we would 'hook up.' I turned him down and didn't last long on the team. I later found out that most girls gave in to his advances to keep up their positions. There are plenty of men who make it hard for a girl to progress in this already cutthroat industry by misusing their power, and to choose to respect yourself means to lose a lot of opportunities. 6. The Jokers. These feel that women's sports are just a cover-up for male dominance. They consistently talk about how many opportunities are there for the girl child and how any weak play can lead you to join any league as long as you can hold a ball, pass it or shoot. They feel that women's sports have less content in play, added to it. 7. The Advocates. Not all my experiences with the opposite sex have been negative. Some men are honest and love to support women in sports. They always watch out for you whenever you play on their team or even serve as their opponents. They review your daily performance honestly and consistently remind you to keep pushing hard. It feels odd, at first, encountering individuals such as these. The negativity you've experienced piles up on you and makes you distrust every positive word that comes out of their mouths, thinking there's an ulterior motive, preparing yourself to fight. But eventually, you'll realize that they are sincere people who love to see others thrive and help in any way they can. For women, sport is still a bit of an alienated zone, aside from the low media attention, less pay, feminity doubt, and accolades given to women who play at a professional level. Let's not even talk about the comments you get while working out, stating that women shouldn't strive to build muscles because it makes them less feminine and thus less attractive. Any girl who is serious about sport has dealt with issues such as these. Because of all this adversity, I greatly admire all women in sport, regardless of the level they play at, from the dreamers who hope to make it to the big leagues to those who are already there, my biggest inspiration. They love what they do, and that's what keeps them going. A friend once told me that if you want to succeed in sport, learn to give out your talent for free. Keep the struggle!
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