How to Write about Women in Sports
The title should always contain the words “graceful” or “sexy” or “female” or “bootilicious”. The sub headings can be centred around “curvy or sensual”. Before starting your piece, make sure to inform the newspaper editors or magazine designer that your article has to be placed in the left bottom corner.
Avoid talking about the small number of women occupying the leadership positions. Ensure to point out how comfortable women are with their achievements. After all, women are not great decision makers.
Don’t talk about the payment women receive. The world is tired of an ungrateful woman. Rather, praise the women for comfortably using poor facilities, being the curtain raisers, and stepping on fellow women.
Ensure that sexual harassment in sports is a minor topic. If you decide to exaggerate it, ensure that the casualties receive a light punishment after all women accuse every man in close contact sooner or later.
Don’t forget to mention that sports is not a women’s field, they’re just imposing themselves there. If you don’t mention how boring women’s games are, then your story is incomplete.
If you forget to praise that one guy in the local area who is a women’s sports die hard, then you are probably going to talk about the 1000 people in the arena who are watching the women play. Indeed, women are content with the viewership that they have received during their games.
Don’t insult the media because your article will be sidelined. They control the flow of news. It’s great how women’s sports has great media support and coverage, isn’t it?
Question their gender! Look at their muscles and how “manly” they look jumping for that ball. Which women lift weights? They have betrayed the societal definition of a full woman. Sports actually has a gender.
When describing a woman in sports leadership, don’t forget to mention she is angry, frustrated, rejected, a social misfit; she failed to be a man and now she steps on fellow women (why should she uplifting them, soon they will be vying for her position). Tell the world how assertive she is.
Hey, ensure that when you’re budgeting for a sports governing body, the women’s teams should receive the lion’s share. But wait, soon or later, these women will be pregnant and useless on the field. We should reconsider this offer. Even if they reach World Cup level, ensure that their total funding doesn’t equate to even half of that of one player of the other gender.
Focus more on the graceful games like netball, gymnastics or ballerina. Describe women’s rugby or basketball or football games as boring and slow paced.
What is an article without a picture? A sweaty female gliding across the court will attract less attention. Ensure she is captured at an angle that best brings out her feminine features. We need to generate the right attention to her.
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