New Vision Headline, Monday, July 27, 2020: 2,300 school girls conceive, 128 married off during Lockdown. Reminder: This article was based on numbers from July, and as of November, the situation hasn't improved, save for finalists who have reported back to school. While heading back from sports in Kireka, the journey seems long, but with the company, you tend to fall into a discussion on different topics with the people you walk with. I casually asked someone why there weren't more girls engaging in sports during this free time created by the lockdown, save for chores and other responsibilities. He responded, “With the news circulating about the number of girls getting pregnant during this time, how many parents are ready to risk and let their girls go out to play?”. And this was a reflection point for me.
While growing up, my mother tried to tame me and keep me staying around the house, but she had given up by the time I was in primary 5. She's a good mother, I wouldn't claim that her failure to understand me for a while made her a horrible person, but eventually, she understood and let me be. On the days I'd stay at home, she would think something was not right with me. After doing my chores and having lunch, I would either ride my bike to the field or walk or jog there if I felt like I needed to get some exercise beforehand. I didn't have a curfew, but I would always make sure I was home by 8 pm. My parents still ask if I'm going out to train and understand that between about 2 and 8 pm, I will probably be unavailable. One might conclude that my parents were negligent or just very permissive, but my situation is one of learning self-regulation and responsibility and having your parents trust you. Parents will always do their best to protect you and, in several cases, go so far as to be constraining. It is up to you, to be honest and prove to your parents that you are trustworthy. If you say you are going to the field to play, go there, do your business, and return home. Boys outnumber girls in sports settings, and it is up to you to make friends with the boys around. Not every boy or man has nefarious intentions towards you, but if you're going to be out late, to be safe, you will need that protective cover because of a girl's unfortunate reality.
It would be disingenuous to blame the men, considering women aren't entirely innocent. A sports lady at one of the universities has had sexual encounters with almost everyone related to sports at the institution, from the head of the sports department to the youngest player on the men's team. Where is the sports sector going wrong with the development of the Girl Child? Sports is supposed to develop the girl child to be confident, stand up for what they believe in, and better themselves both physically and mentally. Why wouldn't a parent discourage their child from pursuing sports if they know that the odds are stacked against them? During primary school, girls are as active as boys in sports, but the girls keep falling back and dropping out with time. Sexism dangerously engulfs the field, holding all other factors constant (pun intended). Parents withhold their daughters because they have fear for them. Instances where girls have to give “something” for the coach or administrator to give them any attention. I know someone who stopped playing because of all the coach's flirting and sexual propositions and advances. And because she did not give in, she was virtually ignored—such a pity. Whenever I interact with girls I meet at the pitch; I have several standard questions; Do your parents know you play? Do they support you, or do you do it without their knowledge? Are you free to move out of the home, or do you sneak out? Do you have a curfew?. These I ask indeed to understand parents' attitude towards their daughter engaging in sports.
I firmly believe that girls in the field can and should cultivate an understanding with their parents if they are to move forward doing what they love. Also, your ability to interact with fellow sportspeople, especially men, comes in handy many times. Wherever I go to play, there are at least 2-3 people who know me and are welcoming, and even if that isn't the case, it does not take long for me to make friends. This serves as an advantage since you gain workout mates and people who will help you get better and pseudo bodyguards, advisers, and defenders when dealing with sexist and sleazy men. Sometimes, we intentionally or unintentionally support the advances based on our interactions with people. We should always strive to mark the lines of whatever relationships we make on the pitch and have a support system to help with our unfortunate reality. Otherwise, headlines like those will continue to flood the media and overshadow whatever achievements we make, a feat which in turn determines the future generation's prospects and desires to join the field; if you have no desire to play competitively, at least use sports as a leisure activity, an escape, and an experience.
But while we are at it, let us create an inclusive environment for women/girls in sport, all while making sure that they are aware of the obstacles they will face as they navigate it, not as a form of discouragement but a form of mentorship to make sure they are thick-skinned and mentally prepared to deal with a world that doesn't reasonably accommodate yet.
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