(Disclaimer: The names in this article have been changed for privacy purposes,but I must point out that the stories told here are very real.)
Joseph is a young coach at a school within the city. Joseph has earned himself a reputation for flirting with his players and sleeping with some of them. Such stories still perpetuate the media coverage(no matter how little) of women's sport, but unfortunately, a lot of the time, little to no action is taken against these predators, and some are still able to gain employment elsewhere. I won't deny the human aspect of us that is prone to making mistakes at the expense of other people, but my purpose is to shed light on issues that need no introduction to society, and are harmful to people, but still remain prevalent. I have no doubts that the performance of Joseph's team is mediocre at best, considering the lack of respect the girls must have for him and his behavior. And that's a big part of making a team thrive; mutual respect between the leaders and the players. Part of my vacation was spent training a girls team alongside other male coaches. We always argued whenever one of my colleagues hit on any of the players. How were they supposed to respect any of us if the people they turned to for guidance were flirting instead of helping and encouraging them to improve? It should be pointed out that girls can be difficult to train, especially when they try to flirt with their coaches themselves; they aren't all innocent. Having attended an all girls school, I witnessed this. I see no problem in having platonic relationships with your coach outside the team, I've had some of those myself, but some boundaries must be drawn and professionalism maintained. From an athlete's perspective, a coach is the final say, a person the plays can seek solace from; they offer mentorship, they offer the experience that the team needs, and they can bring the best out of the team.....But familiarity breeds contempt,so don't be surprised if a team conspires to get rid of their coach. In high-school, one Mark, a coach for one of the teams, was visibly close to some girls, and I happened to be one of them. Some members of the team perceived the closeness he had with some people as an inappropriate relationship, and he was reported and fired. The girl had to live with the thought that she might have unknowingly cost the man his job. The truth was that Mark's chosen team wasn't in line with the school captain's. Furthermore, his interactions with said girl were to help her improve and catch up with the team as she was a new addition. The fact that Mark was a young coach also didn't bode well with the team, as they believed that he wasn't experienced enough to help them win. But who was I to stand against a force of 20, even when I knew the truth? That's not to say that Mark wasn't with fault. He had anger issues which got him in trouble with referees and the technical team a number of times, and he sometimes hurled insults at the girls. This could have been the beginning of a campaign to get him fired.
Mark had his flaws especially with anger issues as we had gotten into trouble with referees or the technical team a number of times or at times hurled insults at the girls. This could have been the spark to build on those rumors to have him expelled.
As far as adults are concerned, I think things are different because two (probably) consenting adults are involved, but that's not to say that a power dynamic doesn't exist, especially in cases of teams at elite level like the Olympics. Some coaches have gone ahead to marry their players! My focus lies on young girls that are yet to mature in sport and life in general. They need protection from unwanted advances. They need the support and ability to trust the person leading them. They need to be able to thrive in an abuse free environment, and grow up knowing that they can prosper in a male dominated field without sacrificing their integrity. They should be able to talk to someone about their problems on the team without fear of ridicule or some sort of retaliation. A problem shared is one half solved.
It would be disingenuous of me to say that all may coaches are bad, because that isn't true. Most of my coaches have been male, and they brought out the best in me. They pushed me to the limit until I could barely move, and revealed my potential. Hats off to the coaches working to promote the girl child, and turning them into model athletes. There's room for improvement in both parties. The players should create a conducive environment for their coaches and cultivate a strong work relationship to enable them serve you well. And remember to respect them. Respect them no matter how young and green they seem to be. Respect them as they could play a very important role in your success if you let them. Respect them enough to not flirt with them, as that just muddies the waters and complicates things. Don't shit where you eat. And if you are harassed in any way, speak up. Speak up in the face of adversity. You can never know how many victims of predators there are. Your voice could save a life. Coaches; don't prey on an already vulnerable group of people! Sometimes, sport is all these girls have, it's what keeps them going in this cruel world. Nurture your players talents, and guide, support, and encourage them. Who knows, you could have the next big thing on your hands. I read a tweet by a friend once, it said “Just because you did something wrong in the past, doesn't mean you can't advocate against it now. It doesn't make you a hypocrite. You grew. Don't let people use your past to invalidate your current mindset. Forgive yourself first and then grow from it”. You may have been the villain in someone's story, but you can be a hero in so many others.
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